Have You Ever Noticed?

Posted by OrdinaryJoe - July 20, 2012 - Features, Pets, Politics, Sports, The Big 51 - No Comments

Perhaps I am just becoming odd in my middle age or maybe I am becoming a nosy wannabe Sherlock Holmes, but. . .

Have you ever noticed the express lanes in the grocery stories move slower than frozen molasses?

Have you ever noticed a short cut is a detour to a driver’s worst nightmare?

Have you ever noticed that if you get a freebie you end up buying something?

Have you ever noticed any Republican boy can become president as long as his father has a Swiss bank account?

Have you ever noticed nobody gleefully asks for seconds when it comes to health food?

Have you ever noticed the long shot you do not bet at the racetrack is the one that wins?

Have you ever noticed people who work in human resources are anything but human?

Have you ever noticed no one has ever successfully made broccoli ice cream?

Have you ever noticed whenever you ship comes in you are at home sick with the flu?

Have you ever noticed virtually no one at the casino becomes acquainted with Lady Luck?

Have you ever noticed people who were not born with silver spoons in their months have to spend many years traveling the Rocky Road of life before they reach Easy Street?

Have you ever noticed the most irresponsible people are usually the ones who talk most about personal responsibility?

Have  you ever noticed whenever the government bails out poor people it is called welfare and whenever it bails out rich people it is called a subsidy?

Have you ever noticed the only good sports are really the nice guys who finish last?

Have your ever noticed one person’s freedom is another person’s repression?

Have you ever noticed cheaters always seem to win until they are caught?

Have you ever noticed a diamond is a girl’s best friend but the worst enemy for a man’s pocketbook?

Have you ever noticed dogs do not like the dog days of summer?

Have you ever noticed you rarely get good service from customer service?

Have you ever noticed professors usually do not profess anything of consequence?

Have you ever noticed a one-way street leads only to one way–confusion?

Have you ever noticed that wasting time is sometimes not a waste?

Have you ever noticed the worst barbarians are the ones who act most civilized?

Have you ever noticed if the holidays are supposed to be happy, then why are so many people miserable?

Have you ever noticed the only honest lawyers are the ones six feet under?

Have you ever noticed a man is king of his castle until his wife gets home?

I could go on and on until the unnoticeable infinity, but I must quit for I have just noticed I am developing a bad case of writers cramp describing the things I am noticing.

 

Joe’s Maybe Memorable Quote of the Day

I watch everything, especially my watch.

 

 

 

 

 

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