A Few of My Favorite Things I Am Missing

Posted by OrdinaryJoe - February 17, 2019 - Features, Writing - No Comments

This is a post about miss. Not the Swiss Miss (it tastes good this time of year) or the Miss America pageant (I wrote about that last year) or a swing and a miss (baseball season is still a month and a half away, though spring training games will be starting in a couple of weeks), but a few of my favorite things that I am missing today:

A thriving blogosphere. When I was in the processing of starting An Ordinary Joe’s Soapbox way back in the semi-caveman days of 2011, I was astounded by the quality and the quantity of blogs. I felt like an explorer who discovered the literary version of El Dorado as well as the Fountain of Youth for the blogosphere was a medium in which ordinary Joes and Janes like me can on opine on politics, careers, education, religion, sports, movies, television, and virtually every subject under the sun. Perusing the latest posts from my favorite bloggers gave me the same sort of delight I had reading the latest columns from Mike Royko or Art Buchwald during the 1980s. But while there are enough bloggers today to keep me reading the Internet, blogging unfortunately is becoming like epistolary writing–a lost art. I don’t have a great desire to read Facebook and especially Twitter because many of the posts are so badly written they make bathroom graffiti look Socratic. Too often, I find Twitter users to be like those high school freshmen who think they are so clever because they can utter insults peppered with four letter locker room words but, in the end, they are nothing but jerky juveniles. I long for the days in which people primarily blogged rather than tweeted to express their points of views on the Internet. It takes some time, effort, and a modicum of intelligence and literary ability to create a halfway decent blog.

The big man shop at K mart. I know nowadays K mart is about as popular as a measles plague. And I know the selection on many items at K mart is nearly as skimpy as a Sports Illustrated model’s bathing suit. But one thing I like about K mart is that it had excellent clothes for rotund guys like me at a more than very affordable price. Since my local K mart closed nearly three years ago, I have been scrounging around thrift stores to find clothes for myself without spending a fortune. Sometimes, I find great bargains, but many thrift store clothes are threadbare and smell rancid. I have to be careful on what I spend so that I don’t look like a down-and-outer in public.

Good weather. It is February, and weather-wise, it is the butthole of winter. Unless you are a ski nut or you are someone like Mr. Freeze from Batman, you won’t be humming “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” or “Let It Snow” this time of the year. You just hope the bad cold weather will end as quickly as possible so that you will no longer have to wear layers of clothes, shovel sidewalks, and chatter your teeth every morning.

The college life. I would be a few books short of a library if I admitted that I miss term papers, blue books, homework assignments, and all-nighters. And I certainly don’t want to eat dorm food again. Seeing and smelling such culinary masterpieces as Austrian ravioli and leftover spaghetti on pizza could make a ravenously hungry guy like me long for a bread and water diet in a ship’s brig. But I miss being a collegian. It is great living in a college town, even in places that look like drab eastern European capitals during the 1970s. I miss the heated intellectual debates, the homecoming weekends, the used academic bookstores, the cheap pizza joints, the concerts for the longhairs as well for the rockers and the rappers, the football and basketball games, the fraternity and sorority orgies, and all those pretty coeds sunbathing on the campus quad. Sometimes I wish I could wear sunglasses and a Joe Cool T-shirt like Snoopy, return to my alma maters (I attended quite a few universities during my schoolboy days), and relieve my days as a footloose and fancy free student. Expanding your mind intellectually is the ultimate mind blowing trip.

It has been said a miss is as good as a mile. That may be true, but when you miss something you really want, it is like a black hole–a huge void.

Joe’s Maybe Memorable Quote of the Day

A miss is as good as a mile, but walking a mile to meet a pretty miss is better.

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