Some Words on Politics During the Presidents’ Day Weekend
I am going to discuss a subject I have more or less avoided in a long while, and no, it’s has nothing to do with S-E-X. Instead, I am going to talk about presidents and politics. I know I have become disenchanted with politics, but it is like love was on February 14–it is in the air, and I can’t help talking about it.
Presidents’ Day is coming up. Maybe because history is the stewed broccoli of subjects in school (but I was one of those odd ducks who not only loved history, I wanted to become a professional historian and spent a good chunk of my life studying the past), Presidents’ Day is pretty much a forgotten holiday. Very few businesses close down on Presidents’ Day, and unlike Valentine’s Day, hardly anyone arranges dinner dates at a White Castle. And I don’t see the Dollar Tree or Dollar General selling figurines of Millard Fillmore or Chester A. Arthur.
And this Presidents’ Day falls during a presidential election. Once again, I will announce that I am not going to run for president of the United States.
Sure, it would be nice to live in the White House, being flown across the world in Air Force One, and being chauffeured in a luxurious limousine. And sure, it would be nice to have state dinners with diplomats and heads of state, even though I will have to get a fancy tuxedo and always watch my Ps and Qs when eating.
Still, I don’t have the temperament nor the patience of being Commander-in-Chief. I am not a slick
liar orator who can promise a chicken in every pot, two cars in every garage, and the Cincinnati Bengals winning the Super Bowl every year. And since politics has been called “the art of compromise”, I feel uncomfortable compromising my principles.
Thus, I am content being an Ordinary Joe and going to the polls on Election Day to select which rascal which will be next Head Mucky Muck/Grand Poobah/Biggest Swinging Dick (unless it is someone like Hillary Clinton)/President of the United States.
Unlike newspapers or D-list celebrities, I don’t do endorsements on An Ordinary Joe’s Soapbox. Most of the candidates running for public office are not exactly the second coming of George Washington who allegedly didn’t tell a lie even when he chopped down a cherry tree. In fact, I have often said that politics is a profession filled with hypocrites and whores, though every now and then there is a candidate that captures my fancy, especially a non-Democrat and a non-Republican. I am so adverse to endorsements that even if I get the wild and crazy notion of running for political office like county auditor, forest commissioner, game warden, or court jester, I wouldn’t endorse myself.
I plan to consult my political guru, Al Tureegogh, during the course of the presidential election. I always Tureegogh’s wit and wisdom when it comes to politics. I have told him he should become a candidate or least a talking head on one of those endless Sunday chat fests, but he is too shy to appear in public.
For better or more likely for worse, may the best candidates win in 2020. As they say in Chicago, vote early and often.
Joe’s Maybe Memorable Quote of the Day
If politicians are supposed to be public servants, then why do most of them are paid like royalty when they leave office?