Super Bowl Sunday
Actually, I am not giddy because my favorite team is in the Super Bowl. I am not a fan of the Kansas City Chiefs or the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (also known as as the Yucks when they were wearing Creamsicle-colored football uniforms), so I won’t be cheering like a pom pom girl when Patrick Mahomes or Tom Brady throws a touchdown pass, nor will I be making a call to Las Vegas to make a bet.
Nor am I giddy because I believe the Super Bowl is the greatest clash since Hector vs Achilles or even Hector Camacho Jr. vs. Hector Munoz. I have seen enough Super Bowls to know that most of them are overrated spectacles–in fact, I rather watch the reruns of preliminary or “ham and egger” bouts on mixed martial arts pay-per-views. Kicks to the face, Bruce Lee-like kung fu moves, and jaw dropping WTF knockouts during these bouts are more exciting than watching overpaid, over cautious teams trying not to be embarrassed during pro football’s biggest day.
Unlike the non-football fans who think Tom Brady was a member of the Brady Bunch, I am not giddy over the Super Bowl commercials. One of the great things about modern technological advances over the past few years is that you can watch something on the tube without being inundated every ten to fifteen minutes to buy stuff like Clappers, Billy Basses, Mickey D’s cuisine, and Peloton gym equipment. I know commercials are as necessary for businesses but that doesn’t mean they are not a nuisance even on Super Bowl Sunday.
And I am not giddy over the halftime shows. I stopped being interested with them a few years ago when they didn’t feature the way over the hill musical groups that I was familiar with playing the way over the hill songs constantly played on oldies and classic rock stations. They weren’t the second coming of Woodstock or even the summer music festivals in places like Woodstock, Georgia.
So why I am giddy? Because Super Bowl Sunday is the unofficial Man Day. It is a day in which I can cheer, boo, watch scantily clad cheerleaders’ backfields in motion, fart proudly like Benjamin Franklin, and tell jokes that you wouldn’t hear at the most ribald comedy clubs in Hollywood. It is the day I can eat manly food like nachos and cheese rather than salads. and I can act macho without being considered an insensitive male chauvinist. And if I get bored with the Super Bowl, I can watch the mixed martial arts reruns on YouTube or even explore my more “sensitive” side and watch the romantic movies on the Hallmark Channel.
Somedays it’s good to be king, and on Super Bowl Sunday, it’s good to be a man.
Joe’s Maybe Memorable Quote of the Day
I was a football hero until I started playing football.