Suck it Up, It’s February

Posted by OrdinaryJoe - February 21, 2021 - Features - No Comments

Last night, I told my wife, “It’s February. Embrace the suck.” Here are a few reasons why February is the suckiest time of the year:

1. The end of the NFL season, though anymore I find mixed martial arts to be more exciting than the pigskin sport.
2. Winter weather. Nobody except perhaps the most ardent fans of skiing, skating, sledding, and curling truly likes the cold temperatures.
3. The decline of sweeps weeks. Way back in the medieval days of the 1980s, February was the time of “must see TV”. All the networks would put on the most expensive miniseries, the most glamorous award shows like the Grammys, and the Broadway and Las Vegas musical specials. Even daytime TV talk shows got on the act because it would feature the most freakiest carnival show-like freaks. But with more options than ever on the tube, far fewer people are watching network TV. Consequently, sweeps weeks lacks the glitz it once had.
4. After Valentine’s Day and President’s Day, no more holidays until St. Patrick’s day and Easter.
5. Heating bills. They’re like the Houston baseball team and the Jetsons’ family dog–Astro(nomical).
6. Shoveling snow. Not only is it backbreaking, you have to dress up like a North Pole explorer to do this chore. Even raking leaves and mowing lawns are far more pleasurable than getting rid of the cold white stuff.
7. Gray days. Usually, February has a lack of sunshine. This makes the weather even more drabber than in other months.
8. Super Bowl halftime shows. Most of them don’t live up their hype. I actually prefer seeing high school bands play “Backfield in Motion” than a third rate rock or rap group plying a third rate version of their latest hit.
9. No special wintertime songs on the radio. But who really wants to sing “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” this time of the year?
10. Yellow snow. As Frank Zappa once said, “Don’t eat the yellow snow.”

Joe’s Maybe Memorable Quote of the Day

February may be the shortest of months but it feels like the longest.

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