What Bugs Me–Mid-July
You know what bugs me in the middle of July?
Bugs, of course. July is the time the pesky insects are everywhere. I especially hate going swimming in a public swimming pool and seeing hordes of dragon flies. I also hate not being able to eat a backyard barbecue without yellow jackets droning near your ear, ants scampering underneath the picnic table, horse flies flying around garbage cans and porta potties, and tarantula sized spiders crawling like the tarantulas in Z grade big bug movies. Summer would be a lot more fun if the bugs would take a vacation somewhere like Bug Tussle, Texas (yes, it is a real town), or maybe a Disneyland for Arthropods (fancy term for insects).
Hot weather. July is the time when the weather feels like a boys’ locker room–sticky, sultry, and smelly. At least I don’t have to worry about shoveling snow.
The lack of major holidays. From July 4 to Labor Day, there is not a major holiday to celebrate. This is disappointing because now is the time to celebrate and have some good times. A holiday season without an official holiday is like Thanksgiving without mashed potatoes and stuffing.
Summer camp. Some people can traverse through forests without a compass, enjoy 30 mile hikes, eat wild hickory nuts and smores for breakfast, enthusiastically sing songs like “The Ants Go Marching In” and “Birds in the Wilderness”, and love the camaraderie of summer camp. Then they are people who are like me who are campy when it comes to camp. My inability to swim, put up tents, hike, and fish made me an antihero during the summers I spent at camp. I am glad I am at the age when if I want to go camp, I’ll go to Camp Ramada or at least Camp Motel 6 rather than Camp Granada.
The Chicago Cubs. In most years, this is the time when the Cubs start playing like the Cubs–i.e., the stumbling, bumbling, fumbling pushovers. I look for the Cubs to have a long losing streak or do something that makes considering rooting for a better team like the Yankees, Red Sox, or even the Washington Generals (but they play basketball, not baseball).
Snakes. I am not afraid of them, yet it is still disconcerting seeing them slither in the grass. About the only snakes I sort of like are quarterback Kenny the Snake Stabler and pro wrestler Jake the Snake Roberts.
Losing money playing the ponies at the race track. The summertime is a great time to watch horse racing. It is fun sitting in stands and drinking a cool mint julep while watching sleek Thoroughbreds charge at the home stretch. However, choosing which horses will win is always a challenging as well as an expensive endeavor. Horse racing proves the adage the only sure thing about gambling is that pretty much everybody loses at gambling.
Mid-July–perfect time for the birds. As for the bees and the other critters in the insect world, buggone.
Joe’s Maybe Memorable Quote of the Day
If you are not bugged by bugs, then you’re a bug.